Quick Pickled Jalapenos

Quick Pickled Jalapenos

Hello my favorite blog readers 🙂
So if you have been following my blog for any amount of time you know that I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE spicy food. Seriously sometimes I cause myself pain for the love of spicy food. This was one of those times. My mom has a ginormous garden and also some friends who also have ginormous gardens, long story short, I went home one time and she asked if I wanted some of their home grown organic jalapenos.
Um duh yes I do.
Fast forward she gives me a bag of about 100. Not lying. Fast forward more- I wanted to just dice some and throw in the freezer to use for recipes and various things throughout the year but I also wanted to try this at home pickling recipe. I love pickled jalapenos but sometimes they are so mushy and sort of gross and not that spicy.
Ok soooooooo not to sound pompous but I don’t really think that jalapenos are that spicy. Sometimes you get a spicy one but more often than not, they’re just sort of a warm heat in your mouth. Anyway, I never use gloves or anything when I cut them up normally because I just wash my hands when I’m done and go on my merry way. I’m sure you can tell where this story might be going- I’ll get to the point.
HOLY SHIT. The peppers my mom gave me were soooo effing hot. Mind you I didn’t even cut them all my hand. (I washed, cut the tops off and cut in half lengthwise and then diced with this bad boy) well after about 5 (of the 100) I’m like whoa- I am having a hard time breathing. I started coughing and my eyes burned. I licked one of the peppers and hot damn my mouth was on fire. Well I couldn’t just stop in the middle so I kept going.
I had to take approximately 10 breaks to cough/ gag/drool/die in the sink, literally my mouth and eyes had saliva and tears flowing out of them at a rate beyond my control. Then to top this all off, my hands started throbbing. Like on FIRE. Especially my finger tips and cuticle areas. Seriously, my anxiety brain had thoughts of paralysis running through my mind and they were getting swollen and hurt so bad I could barely bend my fingers. You think I’m being dramatic. I am not. Swear on my life.
Anyway- I’m crazy and apparently a masochist so I finished all the peppers, cleaned up, washed everything twice, washed my hands like 50958209348 times and put ice on my hands. Ok. How fun was that?!?
Ahhhhh, next day,  I wake up and start getting ready for work, doing my makeup, get something in my eye, use my finger get said thing out of my eye, ruin all my makeup because my eye starts burning and watering like cray cray again………….. I mean jesus. I called my mom asking her what she was trying to do to me with these killer psycho jalapenos. She said they mayyy have cross pollinated with some hotter ones…… perf.
Anyway, after about 3 days my hands returned to normal and I was able to touch my face without breaking out in tears.
You’re probably thinking “this story is supposed to make me want to make these freaking peppers?!”….. um yes. Yes, it is. These babies are soooo freaking good. Crisp and spicy (as the story above eludes to 🙂 ) and not full of any chemicals that you’ll get in the store bought kinds. The story’s main point was to make you laugh and also caution you don’t by lethal grade jalapenos and if you do, wear a HAZMAT suit or at the very least gloves and possibly goggles too 🙂
You need to try these- but be careful!
3/4 cup water
3/4 cup white vinegar
3 T white sugar
1 T kosher salt
1 clove garlic, crushed or chopped
1/2 tsp oregano
15-20 jalapeno peppers, sliced into rings
1.  Combine water, vinegar, sugar, kosher salt, garlic, and oregano in a saucepan over high heat.  Bring to a boil, stir in jalapeno peppers and remove from heat.  Let cool for 10 minutes or longer.
2.  Pack peppers into jars using gloves or tongs, cover with vinegar mixture, cover, and refrigerate until ready to eat!
I love these. And so fast and simple. This is 100%, without a doubt, one of those things that I will no longer buy store bought versions of. There is no comparison taste and texture wise. I’ll just be more cautious with prep next time!
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2 thoughts on “Quick Pickled Jalapenos

  1. Okay, the hazmat suit isn’t really necessary, but I DO ALWAYS use gloves. And I put a fan on the counter next to me to blow fresh un-peppered air past my face. However, this years jalapeños were particularly hot and my fingers hurt for a day even using the gloves! Of course, I did a double batch…. and dang, are they good!


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